Are Matchmakers Combustible?

Sometimes I do the craziest things.

I am an altruist--that's the only way I can explain my behavior the other night. (Although "stupid" does a pretty good job, too.)

Remember how I said this valley is so very small? When I became super good friends with Olivia a couple of months ago I learned that she had dated Robert, a guy I had had a very casual relationship with a few years back. (Too casual for my tastes, and that's how I learned--the hard way--that I'm not cut out for the whole modern FWB/FB whatsit.) Anyway, Olivia and Robert got together a month or two after I stopped taking Robert's phone calls; they lasted a year.

(This is all tangential information.)

Anyway, Sunday night Olivia called and said she needed a date to a party Saturday. We wracked our brains because Robert would be there with his new, petite girlfriend and while it really didn't matter Olivia didn't want to make an appearance sans man. Hey, I get it. She had two options: she'd just gone on a date with Guy #1, who she thinks is nice enough ("nice"--such a sexless word!) but there's no spark, and Guy #2, who is more blue collar than she would like but who is lots of fun. (The blue collar thing is only an issue because Robert looks like he was peeled off the glossy cover of a GQ magazine. Though, to our amusement, he's gained weight. Petty, yes, but he yoinked both Olivia and me around a bit.) I suggested Guy #2 was the way to go at this late date but said I would think about other possibilities.

Monday night, after dinner at one of Napa Valley's fabulous restaurants, I (all cheery and elevated on the meal and wine) called Olivia and said, "I know this might seem weird, but ... what about Bill?"

What about Bill, indeed. We'd all hung out the week before, actually, so I thought he would be the casual, handsome date she needed. Olivia, I suspect, had been hoping I would suggest him (did I mention he is handsome?). She said she'd think about it and let me know what she decided.

See, my thoughts were: This is a small valley, Olivia and Bill have both been through divorces, their personalities complement one another ... Not a bad angle, really, but I slept badly all night. I imagined that they would drink too much at the party (very likely) and that she would have to end up spending the night. Et cetera would inevitably ensue. Unfairly, I wouldn't mind seeing them in a relationship but I don't want to see them in a Thing. I guess I realized that Bill might date her to spite me. And that would hurt, even if I understood it.

In the morning, Olivia texted me to let me know that she had emailed Bill. I tried to rise above the creeping bad mood this put me in.

That afternoon she texted to let me know that he was away until next week. And I was so relieved. Later, she showed me their email exchange, and I couldn't help but analyze Bill's response. It was very carefully worded--friendly but not flirty. He is flattered, I'm sure, but I don't think he's attracted. (Yet.)

And why should I care?

Anyway, my lesson is learned: I won't try to play matchmaker for the ex. Not yet, anyway.