Romance or Chemistry?

Anon. left a great question on my previous post--why stay friends? I'm not sure if the question is "Why bother?" or "Why did you decide to go the friend route?" I'm going with the second interpretation. (If I'm wrong, let me know.)

And here's what I find interesting and perplexing: A/S said he didn't feel the romance on the second date. I said, "Isn't romance something you build up to in a relationship?" And he said no. That in his experience, physical attraction, even, could develop later but romance is always there from the beginning.

Yeah.

So even though I am still really impressed with his contacting me ... I think I dodged a bullet. OR maybe to him "chemistry" and "romance" are interchangeable? I'd understand that. You feel it or you don't. (But I think we all run the chance of erring with dismissing too quickly. How many happily coupled/married people do you know who say, "Yeah, I totally didn't get him at first. Couldn't stand him." I know several.)

But in other news, I am definitely feeling chemistry/romance/whatever with my coworker (CW)! (Too complicated. Ugh.) I can't discern his status and the tale there is too juicy to ask another coworker, lest the gossip start. When I look at CW he practically glows I'm so attracted to him. I know: gross. I only mention this because it's such a rare thing, me being that attracted to a guy.

He and I don't work together much, but we met today briefly to discuss a project and ... I think he tried to impress me a little. I allowed myself to be impressed--a little. (This is something I need to work on. I used to pride myself in "not pandering to the male ego." I'm so ashamed to admit it, but it explains a lot about my dating history. Oops! I didn't mean to be a bitch.) I know I am getting older because I love the lines on his face. (He's in his 30s like me.)

I'm just going to let that one coast. Meanwhile, I'm communicating with two guys on OKCupid (I know--two whole guys!). I desperately need to revamp my profile.

A First

The coolest thing happened! A/S and I spoke Friday and after a good conversation about why the second date was so weird, he let me know that he preferred that we remained friends. Whether we actually stay friends or not is beside the point (though I hope we do): I have never had a man call me after two dates and let me know where things stood! Have you? (My girlfriends are incredulous and impressed with A/S.) That man has chalked up some good dating karma points for sure, and his honesty and forthrightness has buoyed my spirits. I hope he finds his person soon.

The incredibly cute photographer mentioned in the previous post was as cute and nice and funny and great as ever yesterday. I suspect that he is gay after all, and anyway he mentioned a "we." So male or female, I'm definitely not in the running. Oh well. I wore a super cute outfit for the day-long shoot and garnered the attention of his assistant and my coworkers. I still got it. ;)

Or, actually, I think I got some of It back. After three months of regular exercise, I am finally seeing some noticeable slimming and toning. My clothes fit better, I feel better and ... just those two things make me feel far more confident about myself--more than 5 lbs (if that) could warrant.

Sunday night I went to a party with a bunch of friends and had the best time. I ended up staying until the wee hours and dancing my feet off. One of our friends, Drop Dead, was super nice and complimentary and fun, but I know he was just feeling lonely. (Such a nice guy, and so conventionally HOT. I'd prefer someone not so sizzling, you know?)

I'm writing one guy on OKC. I'm not jazzed about him, but I'm following the Four Man Plan credo to not discredit anyone unless he gives me the "ickies." (And being bald or too short or too hairy or ... etc. doesn't count, according to Cindy Lu. Ickies kick in when you feel like he could be abusive or that you wouldn't be safe or anything along those lines.) I need to shine my profile, though, but who has the time?

Just a Little Crush

I am seriously crushing on this photographer we are working with next week. He's from SF and really too gorgeous, but he's also such a nice, smart, articulate guy. I've fallen hard--but not so hard that I won't bounce back.

I've been agonizing over what to wear for the photo shoot (note that I am not the one being photographed). I bought a pair of those trendy skinny pants but am not sure they look right on me--will take them for a test run this weekend. He's so hip, and I just feel very N___ Valley--a style that's hard to describe.

Mainly, I'm trying to remember that you just don't know what a person is looking for, and the best bet is to be yourself and show interest. I am also trying to bolster my confidence by recalling that Bill and TOTGA were two of the handsomest men in [Very Small Town] and they both dug me. Why can't this guy? It's possible, right?

With my luck, he's gay (and so subtly so that I didn't detect it) or engaged.

I got a message from A/S tonight. Just: "Hey, call me when you get this." I was really surprised to hear from him. I expected this would just be one of those "fade to black" situations. But now I suspect he's calling to tell me he isn't interested. (If so, this is a first--a guy has NEVER done that--so maybe it's something else?) I called him back, but it went straight to voicemail. Mystery.

Oh well. A/S is still on my 4MP grid. I need to collect more. Maybe I'll put the crush above on the grid just for the sake of using a space--and for inspiring confidence and hope.

Uno, Dos, Tres ... Quatro

I've done the thing I swore I would never do: I've gone back online.

Yes, as of about 30 minutes ago, I am indeed back in the murky, funky world of online dating. I know--I can't believe it either.

What hath possessed me to do such a thing? The fault lies in two places: this book and gin&tonic. (mostly the former)

I think I missed The Four Man Plan (4MP) craze (partially available on Google Books!), but the book resonated with me. (And here I try to summarize the book and fail completely.) One of my Great Faults in my dating "career" is that I've let men know they were the sole competitor way too soon. It puts way too much pressure on the poor guys and it makes me (sweet, sane little me) obsessive. I am sure that the reason that Guy and Bill fell smack-dab in love with me is that they were trying to win me over, never mind that they weren't competing against men--they were competing against the worst adversary of all: my dark, cold heart.

Another issue? I sleep with guys too soon. I do. I cast no judgement elsewhere, I'm just saying that for me, raging hormones + jumpy nerves = early sex. And that's all fine and good for, you know, a passing dalliance--but for a long-term thing, it's better (for me) not to jump so quickly. The 4MP outlines some great ways to keep it in perspective and under control.

Oh ugh. I'm not describing my thoughts or the book well at all and I sound like I guzzled the kool-aid. If you're at all curious (and I don't know why you would be after reading this), you can buy it at audible.com--and save yourself the embarrassment of buying it at a bookstore. :)

PS: Second date with A/S yesterday. Fun but totally void of zing. He was apparently running on two hours of sleep, which could explain it. I'm feeling very eh about it ... but! He's the only guy in my 4MP mantris (this will NOT make sense unless you've read the book), so onward. I need to collect more men for the mantris--hence the online signup.

(I think I need to explain myself, but the g&t has gone to my head. More later. Wish me luck on the online dating thing. I can't believe I'm doing this--again!)

Problems

First of all, a huge thank you to the wise and wonderful Mimi. Though she has moved on from her blog, she can still treat us to her wisdom and humor! Thank you, Mimi, for reminding me that feelings are feelings are feelings. And can be expressed. (Um. Top of my to do list: Find a shrink.)

This afternoon I emailed Bill. Bill the ex. Bill whose heart I broke nearly a year and a half ago. Bill who I keep in contact with now and then. The very Bill who has been dating a woman for ten months.

I emailed him just to say hey and to mention that I saw him at a distance Saturday. (And, yes, nostalgia--or something--was probably welling to the surface after the TOTGA news.) We emailed back and forth a couple of times this afternoon--very friendly. I made no mention of my dating life whereas he sprinkled his gf's name here and there in his emails. And in his final email he forwarded a bunch of vacation pics--luckily neither he nor his lady love were pictured, but there were plenty of gorgeous vistas, cozy campfires, intimate glasses of wine pictured. It irritated me.

I haven't responded and may not at all. I know I'm sensitive due to the whole TOTGA bit, and I definitely don't want to lash out at Bill over such a minor thing. I don't appreciate having their coupledness flaunted in front of me like that. I suppose it says something that Bill needs to flaunt ...

Yes, I think the best response is no response. I owe him some money. I'll drop him a check in the mail and that will be it.

In other news, that 27yo suddenly started texting me tonight--the one who has a girlfriend, supposedly. His texts are so ... 27yo. At first I thought it was a guy from work by the same name, and it all made sense because the guy at work (very young) has been really friendly lately and blushed furiously when I told him he looked nice one day. Oh, but no--it's not my workmate but this other guy and ... I don't even want to go there. (Yet I can't exactly blow him off too harshly because he's my neighbor's friend. Dammit.)

There are things I need and a 27yo paramour is not one of them.

... Or is it??

Ha. Just kidding.

What I need is A/S to be seen at my house--all 6'4" of him. That'll solve it.

A Former Love Marries

Ugh. TOTGA got married.

I was over him, but still: at first the news (brought to me via a mutual friend's Facebook posts) hit me in the gut. And though I haven't obsessed or rent my hair, I am sad about it. It doesn't help that his new wife is reputably as crazy as his ex. (I like to think I'd be happy for him if he'd married well when in truth I might have given in to jealousy.)

What is it with nice guys and The Crazy? Or maybe TOTGA is less nice and more stupid than I imagined. (Come, come, Ruby. Where's your generous spirit?)

I do have a second date with A/S this coming weekend, so I'm happy about that. He asked me out again right away but through a vicious game of phone tag. We haven't actually spoken since the first date, which seems weird and Not Good to me. But ... I am heeding EMK's advice on mirroring and not stressing. Plus, there's something nice about just saying, "We'll see what happens," and leaving it there.

Otherwise, my dating prospects are slim to nil and that, coupled with TOTGA's marriage and my dark and hopeful thoughts for their unhappiness (so unlike me!), is depressing.

The Date

It was a fabulous first date. A/S and I hit it off really well, and while it's too early to say if this will truly go anywhere, I think there will be, at least, a second date.

Unless we took things too far what with the makeout sessions. Oops. And he lives just under an hour away, and one thing led to another and I spent the night. (No sex, though.)

(Loved, by the way, that he made a decisive first move and kissed me. Oh the pain of being on dates where you KNOW the guy wants to kiss you but just sits or stands there fidgeting.)

I am slightly agitated that I stayed (having read all the sage advice out there) but I also feel shruggy about it. I like A/S but am not emotionally invested--who could be at this point? We may have squashed any mystery or intrigue by all the time (ahem) spent together.

Well, time will tell. I'm off to meet a friend for lunch in downtown N____. It's a hot day here and finally feels like the summer we'd been waiting for, well, all summer.

Wonders Never Cease

There I am, ready to write an update (there's news!) when I get a comment from LV, asking about the very subject of my update: ATM/sushi guy. She's psychic, that LV!

I hadn't heard from A/S since the sushi (and D's subsequent "claim"). I think he liked a photo of mine on Facebook (I looked quite fetching--it was taken a couple of years ago), but otherwise ... hush.

And then he messaged me on FB Tuesday inviting me to A Cool Thing and then dinner. Dinner! A proper freakin' date! The big day is Saturday, and I am scrambling for something to wear--I'm such a girl.

So, yes, finally a little action in N___ (though he doesn't live in this tiny town--of course! a positive, actually). Things are looking up. The confidence is boosted. I feel younger, thinner, smarter, sexier. And all because of a date.

Pathetic? Nah. Not at my age, in this weird wine world.

Even better: I have no expectations.

By the way, some of you might wonder how D's taking this. Not to worry: she did meet a man back east and is heart-thumpingly twitterpated. He's visiting soon. I told her about A/S tonight and said I hoped it wouldn't be weird. She appeared enthusiastic and the only odd thing she said was, "But are you attracted to him?" As if she didn't believe I would be. What tall girl wouldn't be attracted to a tall man with twinkly eyes and dimples? I ask you! (D usually has far different taste in men than I do. The men she finds attractive I find smarmy. Go figure.)

Ask a Girl Out!

I'll call him Chip. (This is the team sport guy, mentioned in the previous post.) Chip because he has a clear chip on his shoulder when it comes to women. So unattractive!

Chip's specific issue was that women always go for rich guys (says he). We stood out by the [game] court, and Chip launched into a diatribe. "If a woman says to me that she didn't like a guy until the fifth date, then I know: she found out he was loaded," he declared. Um, what about getting to know someone slowly? His whining continued until I said, "You know, Chip, it is what it is. Women want security; men want thin women with big boobs." (he's a boob man, take it from me) He shrugged and grunted assent, which I take to mean he realized I had a point. (I didn't get the chance to say that security meant different things to different women, and I should have.) It seems like we women are getting the brunt of the "don't be negative" advice, so it is good to know the gate swings both ways.

Our hanging out wasn't all whining and negativity--thank goodness. He was marginally flirty, which was fun but confusing. Partly because the guy is so weird in giving signals (insecurity perhaps?) and partly because ... I didn't think I was into it. (Which could also explain his weirdness.)

Before, Chip had hinted strongly that we have a "thing" and he promised he wouldn't tell our mutual friend. Yeah, I didn't mention that, did I? He was so vague, though, that I wasn't sure--especially when there wasn't any followup.

If there's one thing I know, it's that I have no interest in a fling with Chip--and no interest in a relationship, either. Friendship, I'd like that--he just keeps throwing this weirdness into the whole thing.

We hugged goodnight at the game, and Chip's buddy gave him an approving head nod, which I wasn't supposed to see. Later, Chip texted me. Among other things, he said I looked amazing. (A shock, since I had been out sweating in the vineyards all day, helping with a video shoot.) Saturday I got a text from him, asking me what I was up to. I didn't see the text for a couple of hours, and when I did I just ... Ugh. (I finally replied that I was working on a writing project--honest-to-God truth.)

OK: If Chip were some amazing, happy, positive guy, I would have suggested we get together--which would have probably been the wrong move. Why? Because I've fallen into the undefined territory too often.

Men of N____: Why can't you ask a girl out on a date? It isn't a marriage proposal and it makes us feel legitimate. There's friends who hang out and then fall in love, and then there's that hanging out thing where there's flirtation and whatnot and before you know it, you have a new f*ck buddy when that wasn't what you were looking for.

I'm rambling. Suffice it to say, no go with the Chipster. Not unless he changes who he fundamentally is and asks me out on a date, for chrissakes. (a hike, a picnic, a drink--doesn't have to be fancy!)

Now, my coworker? Him, I'd gladly engage in a fling. (I won't. I know--pens, company ink, etc.)

Slim Pickings

There's the UPS guy, he's cute--also possibly gay.

There's my coworker who just left his wife. So not conventionally hot, but hot just the same. I love that. (But, yes, bad idea--I know. Don't worry, I'm all bark and no bite. Plus I can hardly talk to him, he makes me so nervous.)

There's this guy, who I am meeting up valley for a team sport (must be ambiguous about which, since it's so searchable) tomorrow night. Yeah, I haven't seen him since then, though we've texted a few times. Once he asked me if I was going to some party. I wrote back that I hadn't thought about it and coyly asked if he was making a suggestion. He then replied that he wasn't going after all. Wha?! I hope his palm hit his forehead after he pushed "send." Needless to say, after that I didn't think twice about him. Until last week, when he emailed me to say (cleverly) that he wasn't sure if he should be offended that I never came out to any of his games. What the hell, right?

And then there's the 27-year-old who just invited me to hang out with him and his single roommate. The 27yo made sure to mention his girlfriend, just in case I was mistaken about his intentions. I did a quick search online and discovered that his friend is 26. Egads. For some reason I didn't tell the 27yo that I am in my mid-30s. Maybe I am amused. Maybe I'm flattered. Maybe I'm touched that I was invited. (Hey, I'm not an easy person to get to know, never mind invite anywhere.) But don't get me wrong: I expect immature jokes, beer, herb and whatever it is that guys in their mid-20s are into these days. It'll be so not my thing. (Except for the beer.)

(Important note: I don't mean to say that men in their mid to late 20s are immature. I just have a feeling these two are.)

So, yes, that's the current rundown. It's painful, really.

Drama, in Miniature

Ladies, have you ever had a friend lay claim to a guy when she really had no business doing so? I mean, how fair is it to go around calling "I call dibs!" when everyone is still getting acquainted?

I find it terribly funny. Unless this whole thing starts getting dramatic, then I won't so much.

The funniest thing? The guy in question has been paying me the most attention, which is why I think D decided to mark her territory. Oh, it's all been very subtle, so please don't imagine visible huffiness/petulance.

I met this guy (who will get a name in the future--if warranted) last week with my friend, D, and another friend A. D knew him professionally and didn't seem interested in him, so what the hey, he and I chatted and laughed up a storm. He lent me his jacket. All very simple and nice. The next day D, A and I met for dinner and D chirps, "Yeah, so I'm thinking about having a summer fling with [the guy]. I really felt we had a connection." A looks really surprised and glances at me and says, "Really?!" And D, clueless (or is she?), says, "Yes, there was a definite spark. I'm going to pursue it."

Whatever. I thought it was amusing, but I wasn't going to discount her experience. Hey, maybe there had been a spark when I wasn't looking! Maybe our flirtations were in my head.

Still, I impishly struck up a conversation with the guy on Facebook, and when he rolled into town yesterday to hang out with a group of us, I definitely sensed ears perked in my direction. I didn't think D was truly interested in him; she goes on about different guys all the time. Plus, she's headed back east for a wedding soon and "just knows" she's going to meet someone fabulous.

Evidence of his interest: As the group of us were heading to a restaurant, he hung back and walked with me, even stopping with me to pull cash out of an ATM (and then later paying with his AmEx despite the wad o' cash in his wallet). And as we were at this particular restaurant, drinking drinks and eating sushi, he talked to me the whole time. I even tried to peel away, remembering that I was making myself too available.

So the guy and his friend had to leave early, and almost as soon as he left, D cozied in next to me and said she was really developing feelings for the guy and that they had shared some "meaningful glances." She's my friend, but really--is she serious?! Either she's delusional or crafty. Crafty because she may realize that I detest drama and will do anything to avoid it.

Well, I got a text from D at midnight last night (grrr) saying that she'd had an hour-long impromptu makeout session with another guy who was in our group. Nice. I'm all for a little action (lord knows I need some) but what D doesn't know is that in this town you have to be really careful about your Who, What, When, Where, Whys. Of course, I think her roll in the hay with the other guy makes her attempted claim on "my" guy void. Don't you think?

Not Lucky--Yet

August is a busy month here in the wine world. During hotter, more normal summers, we would already be in mad dash harvest. As it is, harvest is delayed until the first of September--at the earliest. Instead I've been busy with events and projects--your normal work fare.

And ... last week I witnessed a suicide. I know: awful, unbelievable, disturbing, and etc. I really can't say more here for searchability reasons, but if you'd like to know what happened, email me. Needless to say, that has taken a lot of dealing. (I know. You wouldn't think so--or maybe you would. I am resilient, after all. But it is rough to witness death, never mind a violent end--and that it was purposeful ...)

So, yes, the normal excuses for not writing--or dating!--busyness and, well, death. (Normal excuse? No, I guess not.)

But that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about dating.

Did any of you catch the CNN article a couple of weeks ago that basically said that if we haven't found someone yet it's because we haven't been lucky? (I would link to it but can't find it now.)

I know, not particularly earth-shattering at first glance. The setup was perfection, though. How many of you have heard "Oh, but you're so gorgeous/talented/amazing! Why are you single?" (I see a forest of hands out there.) The author pointed out what all of you know--that this "compliment" has a hidden (or not-so-hidden) barb: Fabulous You must be hiding some sort of dark, hairy, insidious Thing that keeps the men/women at bay.

And don't we all feel that way at times? This is why we pay so much money for therapy or dating coaches or books. We want to know How To Be so we can win over that Someone Amazing.

The author asked us readers to consider our married friends. Are they any more perfect than we? Good God, no. They are themselves--a little amazing, a little troubled, a little funny, a little ugly. And they found love. (Or, they found marriage--we know love and marriage aren't givens.) Again, we just haven't been lucky ... yet.

I'm all for self-improvement. I think it is important to be the best person I can be--within reason. (I will not become OCD about it!) But I'll be that person for myself, not in order to woo someone. Also, I think it's important to stay active and get out there, thus increasing the chances for meeting interesting people.

Anyway, I felt encouraged after reading that reminder.

Good thing, because a friend of mine let me know that TOTGA's girlfriend's Facebook profile announces that she's engaged. (It's not clear that she's engaged to TOTGA, but we assume that's the case.) That knocked the wind out of me for about 30 seconds and then I recovered. Earlier this summer I finally, finally got a grip and recovered fully from all that pining. Jesus.

In other, gripping news, someone at work who is so, so crushable (I swear I had written about him before) left his crazy wife. Of course, this is a definite No Go. But it's fun to think about. :)

Life, Lately

Oh, I have a pretty clear picture of my faults: slightly puritanical about sex (in some regards anyway), out of whack when it comes to men, clueless about the simplest of relationships. But I don't feel hopeless about it. What can I do but laugh and keep learning, right?

I'm reading Julia Child's "My Life in France" right now and I love that she just up and says that she was still figuring things out at the ripe, old age of 37. I'm still in my first half (barely) of my 30s, but I'm still figuring things out. I am leaps behind most of you, I'm sure, but it sure is fun to learn. (Agonizing, sometimes, too.) Bear with me. (Or don't--that's the great thing about blogs; you don't have to read them.)

Things are great on the man front. Great because I am having fun, goddammit, not because I have any dates lined up. Right now I am enjoying meeting men and flirting and not worrying about followthrough.

Note to any man who might be reading this: salsa is a great opportunity to meet women. I'm talking dance, not sauce. Saturday night I found myself at a downtown N____ location, leaning against a bar while my friend, Amanda, danced an expert salsa. I didn't think anyone would actually ask me to dance, what with my height and what with these modern tendencies towards male hesitance. Well, I rested my elbows against the polished walnut not two minutes before this handsome Latino man walked up and asked me to dance. I said I didn't salsa, but he didn't care.

Meanwhile, there was a bank of Caucasian men drinking beer and watching and missing out on the action. My dance partner, Roberto, and I had a lot of fun, never mind that he spoke two works of English and I didn't dance salsa. So, men, if you don't dance, I suggest you pick it up. We ladies love a man who can dance!

New topic: How many hints should a woman drop before she gives up? I'm talking about C. We ran into each other at a restaurant last week and the delight in seeing each other was obvious, and I emailed him after asking him how he liked the place. He wrote back but ... I have suggested places in downtown N___, have mentioned the restaurants and drinks I like all to no avail. I sense interest, but again--no followthrough. (Maybe it's the Height Factor??)

Do I want to be with a man so hesitant? No. So my very own suggestion to myself is: drop it.

Very good. Will do.

On another note, I went to a trivia night at a bar up-valley last night and it became crystal clear to me that my friend (I use the term loosely) had talked me up to the dear, extremely nerdy guy keeping score. (Another friend, when describing the scorekeeper to me said, "Well, he's definitely not 007 ..." Ladies, there's got to be a whisper of sexiness--at least!--in a prospective interest, right??) So all night long, Scorekeeper kept on catching my eye and giving me The Eye, no less. Awkward! If my "friend" had left well enough along Scorekeeper and I might have become friends and something might (ugh, can't imagine) have happened. But nothing can happen now, what with all that hope swimming in his eyes.

I left right after the game, apologizing to my friend-friend for having slept so badly the night before and being so tired. Scorekeeper was disappointed. Tough. Not interested.

So, yes, this is life: the men I am not attracted to stand there waiting for me to bestow favor upon them while the others are like vapor (truly, because I can't think of anyone I'm attracted to at this moment).

Ah, life. I don't mind it. (smile)

What Happened

What happened Sunday was a whole lot of nothing--mostly.

I know it seems silly, but I was stressed because this wasn't a first date even but the guy had expressed clear interest--and he's a friend of one of my best friends ... and I wasn't sure I was interested! I know, perhaps too much overthinking was poured into this but ... I've been known to get overly physical with a guy because I wasn't sure what to do and didn't want that to happen this time.

Ahem. Clearly I like to put the cart before the horse.

LV asked a very good question: have I ever discussed this anxiety with a shrink? Yes, but it's been awhile, and I suppose a refresher wouldn't hurt.

For the record, I hide my little anxieties very well. If I confess to my colleagues (at a happy hour or some such) that I am an introvert at heart, they are shocked. I do the calm, cool and collected thing very well--which is why it feels so good to confess the darker side here. (And I know many introverts who are the same. Introverts are most often not the shrinking violets you see at the dark corners of the room; they are often actors or public speakers--it's true! It's easy to throw a persona to the crowd--as long as we don't have to reveal our true selves and as long as we get copious amounts of down time.) (And by the way, I suspect my anxieties don't have much to do with my introvertedness--more that I just never learned how to be friends with a guy, to not expect anything, to leave sex out of it, for Pete's sake.)

Anyway, what happened was this: the guy (don't know if he needs a name) came over, fixed the thing he came to fix, and I offered him a beer.

All well and good, right? We sat in the living room and talked, awkwardly. I tried to put him at ease, tried to discern whether I was attracted to him (all the while thinking: sometimes it's the guy who doesn't get you to the core that ends up being the love of your life--or so I've heard). We ended up talking about sex, somehow--as in how old we were the first time. I wouldn't tell him (that tale I save for significant others), but he told me about his first time--in general terms, the little stud.

He suggested we get together next week--casually, not a date. We hugged. Fin.

I discussed the whole thing with our mutual good friend. She thinks he's interested. But am I? The whole thing is fraught. Fraught, I tell you!

Oh, I like drama--I'm really not so worked up. ;)

PS--Ironically, another guy is coming over sometime soon to fix something else! And with this one, I know I'm not interested. (Tried to get out of his assisting me, but he insisted, and who am I to stand in the way of a good deed?)