What Happened

What happened Sunday was a whole lot of nothing--mostly.

I know it seems silly, but I was stressed because this wasn't a first date even but the guy had expressed clear interest--and he's a friend of one of my best friends ... and I wasn't sure I was interested! I know, perhaps too much overthinking was poured into this but ... I've been known to get overly physical with a guy because I wasn't sure what to do and didn't want that to happen this time.

Ahem. Clearly I like to put the cart before the horse.

LV asked a very good question: have I ever discussed this anxiety with a shrink? Yes, but it's been awhile, and I suppose a refresher wouldn't hurt.

For the record, I hide my little anxieties very well. If I confess to my colleagues (at a happy hour or some such) that I am an introvert at heart, they are shocked. I do the calm, cool and collected thing very well--which is why it feels so good to confess the darker side here. (And I know many introverts who are the same. Introverts are most often not the shrinking violets you see at the dark corners of the room; they are often actors or public speakers--it's true! It's easy to throw a persona to the crowd--as long as we don't have to reveal our true selves and as long as we get copious amounts of down time.) (And by the way, I suspect my anxieties don't have much to do with my introvertedness--more that I just never learned how to be friends with a guy, to not expect anything, to leave sex out of it, for Pete's sake.)

Anyway, what happened was this: the guy (don't know if he needs a name) came over, fixed the thing he came to fix, and I offered him a beer.

All well and good, right? We sat in the living room and talked, awkwardly. I tried to put him at ease, tried to discern whether I was attracted to him (all the while thinking: sometimes it's the guy who doesn't get you to the core that ends up being the love of your life--or so I've heard). We ended up talking about sex, somehow--as in how old we were the first time. I wouldn't tell him (that tale I save for significant others), but he told me about his first time--in general terms, the little stud.

He suggested we get together next week--casually, not a date. We hugged. Fin.

I discussed the whole thing with our mutual good friend. She thinks he's interested. But am I? The whole thing is fraught. Fraught, I tell you!

Oh, I like drama--I'm really not so worked up. ;)

PS--Ironically, another guy is coming over sometime soon to fix something else! And with this one, I know I'm not interested. (Tried to get out of his assisting me, but he insisted, and who am I to stand in the way of a good deed?)