Slim Pickings

There's the UPS guy, he's cute--also possibly gay.

There's my coworker who just left his wife. So not conventionally hot, but hot just the same. I love that. (But, yes, bad idea--I know. Don't worry, I'm all bark and no bite. Plus I can hardly talk to him, he makes me so nervous.)

There's this guy, who I am meeting up valley for a team sport (must be ambiguous about which, since it's so searchable) tomorrow night. Yeah, I haven't seen him since then, though we've texted a few times. Once he asked me if I was going to some party. I wrote back that I hadn't thought about it and coyly asked if he was making a suggestion. He then replied that he wasn't going after all. Wha?! I hope his palm hit his forehead after he pushed "send." Needless to say, after that I didn't think twice about him. Until last week, when he emailed me to say (cleverly) that he wasn't sure if he should be offended that I never came out to any of his games. What the hell, right?

And then there's the 27-year-old who just invited me to hang out with him and his single roommate. The 27yo made sure to mention his girlfriend, just in case I was mistaken about his intentions. I did a quick search online and discovered that his friend is 26. Egads. For some reason I didn't tell the 27yo that I am in my mid-30s. Maybe I am amused. Maybe I'm flattered. Maybe I'm touched that I was invited. (Hey, I'm not an easy person to get to know, never mind invite anywhere.) But don't get me wrong: I expect immature jokes, beer, herb and whatever it is that guys in their mid-20s are into these days. It'll be so not my thing. (Except for the beer.)

(Important note: I don't mean to say that men in their mid to late 20s are immature. I just have a feeling these two are.)

So, yes, that's the current rundown. It's painful, really.