TallGuy, Mr. Bartender and Now, Sailor

Adventures with The Four Man Plan continue, and I have to say, the method is great for someone like me--someone who puts eggs in all one basket way too easily, who can fall in love with an idea more easily than an actual man. I need to invest more time in Match and OKC, though, picking up more contacts (i.e. quarter men).

Here's the lay of the land:

I met Mr. Bartender at the billiards club last Saturday and had a beer and a half. Somewhere mid-way through our conversation, I said, "So, tell me about your car situation." And Mr. B basically said that cars are too expensive and he can just borrow his roommate's. Now, his roommate (his best friend) is married--so Mr. B is living with a young married couple and … I cannot imagine how annoying that must be, especially for the wife. He said he didn't have any DUIs, and I believe him, but it's just odd. Yes, cars are expensive, but if you're going to live outside a city, that's just the cost of getting around and having a life.

At the end of our date, he made a play for my next Saturday night (which would have been last night). Part of the 4MP is that you say yes to every invitation, but I didn't like my Saturday night being spoken for so far in advance! Yes, if I were interested in Mr. B, I would have been elated. I made some noises like, "Oh, that sounds fun. Sure, touch base with me mid-week." And I didn't hear from him all week, thank God. Yesterday (Saturday) he texted me to let me know that he'd been hired back at his old job--a restaurant that turns into a dance club Friday and Saturday nights. Did I want to come down?

No, no I didn't. Honestly, the restaurant is weird and Mr. B is the only bartender so I'd only be able to wave at him. He followed up with an invitation for me to come down earlier, he'd buy me a drink. I didn't respond--which will probably give me a dollop of bad dating karma.

But it really can't be worse, karma-wise, than what I've been experiencing recently anyway. A guy with no car, a super hot man who never followed up … That's right, no word from TallGuy. Par for the course. The disappointment is only glancing. He was, yes, hot--and I wanted to jump him. (was hoping for the opportunity, in fact--and I am rarely inspired to do so) But I don't think we had a good connection--not on the first date, anyway, which is why I wanted to try for a second. (That and the chance to at least make out, for pete's sake.)

Part of the reason I wasn't crushed with disappointment, however, was that I heard from Sailor: great email, nice profile, and after a few exchanges we realized that we had mutual friends and had met some 10 years ago! What a freakin' small world. He immediately gave me his number so we could text. Now, normally I don't text guys I don't know, but I made an exception with Sailor, and we've been texting off and on over the last few days. (This in addition to email.) It turns out that we even live in the same neighborhood. Crazy!

Now, examining my heart of hearts, I don't know that it will go anywhere with Sailor. I think we might be enjoying the slight familiarity. I don't know how recently he is out of his divorce … it might be easier for him to communicate when he's way out on the ocean. Who knows? I'm hoping for at least friendship, because he does seem like a cool guy. (I remember him that way--also somewhat taciturn with wild hair.)

This afternoon, I've got to drum up some more quarter men! It's the name of the game, ladies.

Adventures in Dating

So far, my endeavor to date as many fabulous men as possible is going … slowly. Part of it is the cold, hard facts: I'm over 35. I'm 5'11". I'm not the fun, party girl that a good portion of the male population seems to be looking for. (Sorry guys, shoulda caught me 5 years ago.)

Right now I'm communicating with two guys. The first is Mr. Bartender. Mr. B works at a local restaurant that I predict will fold in 3 months. Last week I popped in right after work for a drink. I completely surprised him, and though I wasn't attracted to him, I was nervous and dorky. (At least that's my evaluation of events.) No matter: Mr. B has been very encouraging in his short messages to me. He invited me to lunch, and I suggested we meet in Y____ville, since that is closer to where I work. Well, guess what? He doesn't have a car.

Jesus.

Now, not having a car in San Francisco or Chicago or New York City is no big deal, but it's downright weird way out here in the country. My alarm bells are going off wildly because, if you remember, ex-fiance Mac was horrible with finances.

I'm meeting Mr. B for lunch here in N____ on Saturday. Why? Because I need to practice being my authentic self. I need practice dating, for Pete's sake. I think Mr. B is looking for a hookup and will drop me when he figures out that that's not my interest here.

But here's the one I'm interested in.

TallGuy is freakin' tall. Over 6'6" (I don't want to specify because of almighty Google). I've never gone out with a guy over 6'2"! TG wrote to me after I severely shortened my profile. I'd read in several places that we ladies need to keep our dating profiles short, light and sweet--that by including too many details we could unwittingly (1) appear cray-cray or (2) put up unintentional barriers. What the hell, thought I, highlighting my carefully crafted and often tweaked profile and deleting it with the press of a key.

My new profile says basically that I'm a chica living in the NV who likes to this, that and the other thing and I'm looking for a guy who can beat me at Scrabble. And then I parenthetically assure the reader that I'm joking. (A nice touch, I thought--a slight show of my nerdish hand and humor at the same time.)

Anyway, TG wrote me. And he was (is?) so complimentary and interested to meet me. I tried to play it cool--but not too cool. I showed interest (I hope) but not too much. In the past, I've made the mistake of sending these long emails. WHY? So I'm keeping them short and light and carefree. I don't even answer all the questions dudes send my way. Why should I? And if I do, what's left for the first date?

But I digress. I cannot wait to meet TG tomorrow. And, eff it, I'm wearing heels. Four-inchers. And even then, I'll be way shorter than him. I figure, who knows if I'll have this chance again? Girl, I'm taking it.

I'm also excited about meeting him because he's totally local to the NV--was raised here, even. His family owns a business and is prominent enough to Google to make sure he's a safe person to meet.

I need to remember several things:
1. I'm not ready for a full-blown relationship so easy does it
2. I really just know that this guy is tall, local and has two kiddos--no sense getting carried away. He could be as dumb as a sack of rocks.
3. Stay cool--keep the date breezy and 1.5 hours tops

I need to gather some other great guys to meet so I don't get too interested in this guy. But who knows? When we meet tomorrow I might be not at all attracted to him, despite his awesome, incredible, oh-so-sexy height.

We'll see.

Definitely Something

Mac and I have been in regular contact since the last posting. Not every single day, mind you, but more days than not. And we've seen each other a fair bit, too.

The tone has been friendly and interested and casual. No proclamations or physical demonstrativeness, though, which I am completely unused to--and OK with. I haven't done the "take it slow thing" in forever--if at all. And given my propensity for falling out of love quickly and efficiently (9 months is my longest relationship to date, after all), I think slow might be good.

That said, I want him.

I am increasingly charmed and interested, and last night's date definitely had something to do with it. First of all, it was clearly a date. I wasn't sure--we'd been talking about seeing a movie for awhile and I figured it was just another chance to hang out. But when I arrived at his place after work and saw him all freshly scrubbed and be-sweatered, I realized that he was definitely putting the date foot forward.

We got drinks and nibbles before the movie and just talked and talked. We strolled down the streets of St. H____ and looked at storefront windows. TOTGA came up in conversation (briefly)--just as a point of "these are the people we know." And when we were talking about dating and types, he said, "Ruby, I like you. I like you a lot, actually"--and then went on to say that this wasn't necessarily true for him and me, but people are definitely attracted to types. (I'd been relating TOTGA's need for The Crazy in a woman so it seemed like Mac was referring to the more negative side of "types.") The air was cold and I was slow to realize what he was saying. My mind sludged through the possibilities: I was his friend and he liked me but I wasn't his type; I wasn't his type; he wasn't attracted to me ...

I'm an idiot. Is it any wonder I'm single?

Three quarters of the way through the movie, I'm sitting there in my chair reveling in the occasional gentle pressure of his elbow on my arm (yes, dry spell here of Epic Proportions!!) when I realize that he said he liked me and that the convoluted sentence that followed really had to do with his nervousness. For the rest of the movie I obsessed with my inability to loosen up, encourage, flirt. [yes, I'm playing fast and loose with my tenses, O Writers. I can't be bothered to edit]

As we walked back to his house, I grabbed his hand when we dashed across the street. (Or maybe he grabbed mine?) Then we let go.

At my car there was a moment, a pause, and I smiled and said, "What?" And he said, "Ah, get out of here." (friendly/jokey--not rude) I'm willing to bet he wanted to kiss me.

So you're all pulling your hair and gritting your teeth wondering why we're behaving like two virgins. Well, there's his recent breakup and our extremely small social network to consider, and the fact that he's a thoughtful person (as am I). Also, though he's told me he has no interest in getting back together with his ex, he cares about her and is worried about her. (She's going through a rough patch.) Given all those variables, I think the current state of affairs is fair.

But I hope there's resolution before too long. What I would give for just a kiss!

A Little Something

Big thanks to Anon and Loverville whose recent comments have nudged me to write a new post. For the longest time (well, since Jan 7) there wasn't much to write about anyway, but now ... There might be something going on.

As usual, this situation is rife with all of the issues inherent to dating in a small dating pool. I met Mac when he started dating a woman in my friend group last summer. (She and I are friends, but not at all close. I like her fine; we just don't click in any huge way.) Mac and I hit it off hugely and whenever we saw each other at parties or events, we'd chatter away at each other and just have a great time. It was great because it was safe--he was my friend's boyfriend. Come to find out, he'd also dated my previous boss--see how small the pool is? No wonder I thought he looked familiar!

So now, they've broken up. And we've struck up a friendship--or something. Last week we met for dinner and drinks (he paid). Then we texted back and for a few days--innocuous stuff. Then he said it's important that we be careful--that it was too soon for him to be friends with one of his ex's friends. Then I spent the afternoon at his house last weekend, just sitting in the yard and eating sandwiches and talking. He seemed really nervous. This week we missed connecting a few times, and then today I stopped by his place for a few moments before he went away for the weekend.

Obviously there's not much to tell, except I think there's something there. I know, I can't jump to conclusions, and it's not like I'm brimming with hope or anything. Last December, back when he and my friend were dating, I'd just gotten my hair cut when I ran into them in town. She (the girlfriend) was talking to someone else and Mac said how great my hair looked. "You've got the whole package," he said with real feeling and then walked away. (Oh those emotional, artistic types!)

I wonder if he still thinks that's true or if that was just safety talking? You know how it is, safely married men and partnered men always going on about your attributes and what a perfect catch you are. I wonder--are they just confident in their pairedness? And are the single guys just chicken-shit?

Well, I've caught Mac looking at me like he still thinks I'm The Stuff. I think he might have that Single Guy Chicken-Shit thing going on, but I think he also wants to keep a good rapport with our friend group. I respect that. I can bide my time.

Except that this afternoon I so wanted to grab him. Et tu, dry spell?

Romance or Chemistry?

Anon. left a great question on my previous post--why stay friends? I'm not sure if the question is "Why bother?" or "Why did you decide to go the friend route?" I'm going with the second interpretation. (If I'm wrong, let me know.)

And here's what I find interesting and perplexing: A/S said he didn't feel the romance on the second date. I said, "Isn't romance something you build up to in a relationship?" And he said no. That in his experience, physical attraction, even, could develop later but romance is always there from the beginning.

Yeah.

So even though I am still really impressed with his contacting me ... I think I dodged a bullet. OR maybe to him "chemistry" and "romance" are interchangeable? I'd understand that. You feel it or you don't. (But I think we all run the chance of erring with dismissing too quickly. How many happily coupled/married people do you know who say, "Yeah, I totally didn't get him at first. Couldn't stand him." I know several.)

But in other news, I am definitely feeling chemistry/romance/whatever with my coworker (CW)! (Too complicated. Ugh.) I can't discern his status and the tale there is too juicy to ask another coworker, lest the gossip start. When I look at CW he practically glows I'm so attracted to him. I know: gross. I only mention this because it's such a rare thing, me being that attracted to a guy.

He and I don't work together much, but we met today briefly to discuss a project and ... I think he tried to impress me a little. I allowed myself to be impressed--a little. (This is something I need to work on. I used to pride myself in "not pandering to the male ego." I'm so ashamed to admit it, but it explains a lot about my dating history. Oops! I didn't mean to be a bitch.) I know I am getting older because I love the lines on his face. (He's in his 30s like me.)

I'm just going to let that one coast. Meanwhile, I'm communicating with two guys on OKCupid (I know--two whole guys!). I desperately need to revamp my profile.

Just a Little Crush

I am seriously crushing on this photographer we are working with next week. He's from SF and really too gorgeous, but he's also such a nice, smart, articulate guy. I've fallen hard--but not so hard that I won't bounce back.

I've been agonizing over what to wear for the photo shoot (note that I am not the one being photographed). I bought a pair of those trendy skinny pants but am not sure they look right on me--will take them for a test run this weekend. He's so hip, and I just feel very N___ Valley--a style that's hard to describe.

Mainly, I'm trying to remember that you just don't know what a person is looking for, and the best bet is to be yourself and show interest. I am also trying to bolster my confidence by recalling that Bill and TOTGA were two of the handsomest men in [Very Small Town] and they both dug me. Why can't this guy? It's possible, right?

With my luck, he's gay (and so subtly so that I didn't detect it) or engaged.

I got a message from A/S tonight. Just: "Hey, call me when you get this." I was really surprised to hear from him. I expected this would just be one of those "fade to black" situations. But now I suspect he's calling to tell me he isn't interested. (If so, this is a first--a guy has NEVER done that--so maybe it's something else?) I called him back, but it went straight to voicemail. Mystery.

Oh well. A/S is still on my 4MP grid. I need to collect more. Maybe I'll put the crush above on the grid just for the sake of using a space--and for inspiring confidence and hope.

Wonders Never Cease

There I am, ready to write an update (there's news!) when I get a comment from LV, asking about the very subject of my update: ATM/sushi guy. She's psychic, that LV!

I hadn't heard from A/S since the sushi (and D's subsequent "claim"). I think he liked a photo of mine on Facebook (I looked quite fetching--it was taken a couple of years ago), but otherwise ... hush.

And then he messaged me on FB Tuesday inviting me to A Cool Thing and then dinner. Dinner! A proper freakin' date! The big day is Saturday, and I am scrambling for something to wear--I'm such a girl.

So, yes, finally a little action in N___ (though he doesn't live in this tiny town--of course! a positive, actually). Things are looking up. The confidence is boosted. I feel younger, thinner, smarter, sexier. And all because of a date.

Pathetic? Nah. Not at my age, in this weird wine world.

Even better: I have no expectations.

By the way, some of you might wonder how D's taking this. Not to worry: she did meet a man back east and is heart-thumpingly twitterpated. He's visiting soon. I told her about A/S tonight and said I hoped it wouldn't be weird. She appeared enthusiastic and the only odd thing she said was, "But are you attracted to him?" As if she didn't believe I would be. What tall girl wouldn't be attracted to a tall man with twinkly eyes and dimples? I ask you! (D usually has far different taste in men than I do. The men she finds attractive I find smarmy. Go figure.)

Drama, in Miniature

Ladies, have you ever had a friend lay claim to a guy when she really had no business doing so? I mean, how fair is it to go around calling "I call dibs!" when everyone is still getting acquainted?

I find it terribly funny. Unless this whole thing starts getting dramatic, then I won't so much.

The funniest thing? The guy in question has been paying me the most attention, which is why I think D decided to mark her territory. Oh, it's all been very subtle, so please don't imagine visible huffiness/petulance.

I met this guy (who will get a name in the future--if warranted) last week with my friend, D, and another friend A. D knew him professionally and didn't seem interested in him, so what the hey, he and I chatted and laughed up a storm. He lent me his jacket. All very simple and nice. The next day D, A and I met for dinner and D chirps, "Yeah, so I'm thinking about having a summer fling with [the guy]. I really felt we had a connection." A looks really surprised and glances at me and says, "Really?!" And D, clueless (or is she?), says, "Yes, there was a definite spark. I'm going to pursue it."

Whatever. I thought it was amusing, but I wasn't going to discount her experience. Hey, maybe there had been a spark when I wasn't looking! Maybe our flirtations were in my head.

Still, I impishly struck up a conversation with the guy on Facebook, and when he rolled into town yesterday to hang out with a group of us, I definitely sensed ears perked in my direction. I didn't think D was truly interested in him; she goes on about different guys all the time. Plus, she's headed back east for a wedding soon and "just knows" she's going to meet someone fabulous.

Evidence of his interest: As the group of us were heading to a restaurant, he hung back and walked with me, even stopping with me to pull cash out of an ATM (and then later paying with his AmEx despite the wad o' cash in his wallet). And as we were at this particular restaurant, drinking drinks and eating sushi, he talked to me the whole time. I even tried to peel away, remembering that I was making myself too available.

So the guy and his friend had to leave early, and almost as soon as he left, D cozied in next to me and said she was really developing feelings for the guy and that they had shared some "meaningful glances." She's my friend, but really--is she serious?! Either she's delusional or crafty. Crafty because she may realize that I detest drama and will do anything to avoid it.

Well, I got a text from D at midnight last night (grrr) saying that she'd had an hour-long impromptu makeout session with another guy who was in our group. Nice. I'm all for a little action (lord knows I need some) but what D doesn't know is that in this town you have to be really careful about your Who, What, When, Where, Whys. Of course, I think her roll in the hay with the other guy makes her attempted claim on "my" guy void. Don't you think?

Social Newbie

I am having a mini, well-controlled freak-out. Worse, it's for no good reason.

Most of us, by my age, know how to be casual around men and how to just hang out. Well, gosh, I don't, and there's a guy coming over to my house in an hour to help me fix something.

It's innocuous, on one hand, and then also not: he jumped at the chance to help me with this thing and the email he wrote when he offered to do so was so clever and carefully written that I suspect he's interested.

On the other hand, this isn't a date. I don't know what the expectations here are. I'd like to invite him in for a beer, but I'm not good at those kind of casual invitations that other people seem to pull off. I don't know how to be platonic with guys--with guys who are interesting, that is.

Ack.

Well, I've continued my flirtations out there in the world, befriending a hunky musician Friday night (I swear, all the women were practically throwing their panties at him) and last night I was friendly with a music mogul-type, which landed my friends and I excellent seats at a concert.

See, friendliness counts. I hope I can be friendly/casual/cool when this guy comes over in a few moments! (I die.)

Near Misses

Well, Trouble (of the previous entry) has a long-term girlfriend. She's super cool and lovely and around her, he was studiously not flirty--just friendly. Trouble, you need to dial back the flirt when your cool, lovely girlfriend isn't around! To be fair, he hasn't been inappropriate but his flirtatiousness didn't lead me to believe he had a girlfriend. Anyhoo, now I know.

The paired and married men at work think it's a mystery that I'm single. In their eyes I see a glint of, "I'd date her if I weren't with my wonderful wife/girlfriend." But would they? No, I don't think so. They, in their married/coupledness just feel secure.

Last night's party at the winery was first class. I wish I could tell you about it ... But since I can't, I will tell you about C. C does contract work for us, and nearly from the beginning I've sensed strong mutual attraction--never mind that he's a good deal shorter than me. (Jeez. Why does this happen?) I didn't expect C to be at the party, but there he was, and I was thrilled to see him. We didn't really have a chance to talk until the after party, when we grabbed drinks and shouted at each other over the thumping bass.

And here I confess that I have resigned myself to a Type: the sensitive, somewhat shy guy. I suppose, too, that these kinds of men like me, because I can be so vibrant and exciting around them (whereas guys who are the center of attention steal the show and there's no reason for me to reveal my fabulousness).

So, that's C: somewhat shy, sensitive, artistic, short. We were standing there, talking (shouting) and before I knew it, we were talking about our ages (he's four years younger), dating and marriage. To be clear, marriage came up in terms of parental pressures ... still. There was a lot of arm touching going on throughout. He ended up having to leave long before he wanted to.

Here's the thing: C doesn't strike me as a particularly motivated guy, and I want a motivated guy. Am I being too picky? Hey, I have nothing against shorter men, at least.

After C left, another guy (who I had been working with all evening) asked me if I was into Burning Man. Um, no. I could see the words, "Would you like to go out sometime?" forming on his lips, but I didn't encourage him, so he didn't ask.

A Confession and a Vibe

Oh God. Oh head hung in shame. I have not been keeping up with my cheerful, optimistic, new exercise regime.

My excuse? The winery I work for is having a huge, fabulous, world-class event soon. There is only time to eat, sleep and recuperate. Hence, I have not seen Hunky Neighbor. So, yes, sorry. No exciting news on that front.

In addition to confessing the above, however, I wanted to remark on an interesting phenomenon. This afternoon I happened to be hanging with some guys at work--well, really, one guy in particular, with other guys hanging about. I was wearing a flattering skirt and top (perfect for this very hot day), so that could be it. I definitely got The Vibe from this guy--and actually, I've been getting The Vibe for weeks. Even though he is a good bit shorter than me.

Oh, but he's confident and Trouble. I can just tell. This is a man who knows his way around women. Danger, danger. I've dated these types and know this is a No Go. Still, that pull of attraction is so irresistible!

Or maybe it's just resistible enough to carry a fun flirtation throughout the course of my employment at the winery. Hmmm. That could be fun, too.

This event at the winery will have dancing and much (much) wine. I anticipate some frivolity ... Stay tuned. I hope I won't disappoint. ;) (All within professional reason, of course.)

How Ruby Got Her Groove Back

(Oops. This post accidently published sans text, so if you came here a few minutes ago only to find nothing ... sorry!)

Well, whether I really have my groove back (if I ever had it in the first place) is yet to be determined. Optimism never hurt, I say, so let's just go with the best case scenario, shall we? I have gotten my groove back!

I spent last weekend in Southern California--that part of the state that we Northern Californians turn up our noses at. The traffic, the smog, the silicone, the celebrity mania! Who could love it? Well, I do. (I still don't know if I can handle the traffic.) I had the best time with my friend hashing over Man Issues and Single Issues and Ack-We're-in-Our-Mid-Thirties (tick tock!) Issues. We ate very well and drank too much. We walked a lot, saw celebs, ran stairs ... it was the best!

Part of the greatness was the sheer number of people my age. It was incredible! Even flying down I sat by handsome men (both coming and going)--that never happens!

So I returned to the sleepy, beautiful NV and decided that I am of a certain age and while I am not overweight, I could use some toning and slimming--and this won't happen by magic. Drastic measures needed to be taken.

Tuesday morning I hit the pavement at 5:30 a.m. Yes, that's right: I, who loooove to sleep in, got up 50 minutes early in hopes of whittling away at the thighs and hips. And get this: I met a cute guy. Sort of.

It stands to reason that I meet/see a handsome man on the morning when I roll out of bed, pull on exercise clothes and don't even wash my face or comb my hair because, Aw, screw it. I'm not going to see anyone.

There I am, walking briskly along the side of the road when I hear approaching footsteps behind me. It occurs to me that I am not wearing the right underwear with my Nike pants. (Am I the only one who thinks about these things? As evidenced by pantylines across the nation, some of us don't think about this enough!) I wait until the ambitious runner is next to me and look over and ... Why again didn't I freshen up a bit?

He flashed me a big smile and on he went, all tall and athletic and interesting. I saw him later as I was returning to my neighborhood. In fact we waved and said good morning before I shyly dashed up my sidewalk. (He clearly wanted to chat. But the hair, the face, the pantylines! Is it any wonder I'm single?) That was Tuesday morning.

Wednesday morning I went into work late and so exercised about an hour late. No sign of my hunky neighbor, of course.

This morning, I dragged my carcass from bed, washed the face, combed the hair, wore suitable clothing and didn't see Hunky Neighbor until I had returned from my walk. A car slowed, a window rolled down and he flashed me a brilliant smile. I said, "Good morning!" and darted.

I know, more of the darting. I bet you anything Hunky Neighbor will bump into me tomorrow morning and that names will be exchanged, at the very least. He strikes me as the sort of guy who enjoys the chase (hence my darting--I do feel cautious), so my behavior, though silly, isn't all bad.

Anyway, here's to a slimmer, more toned me. That I may get a date out of this new fitness regime before the results have taken hold is encouraging!

The Art of Seduction

Well, this girl hasn't gotten out--yet. In fact, I ditched the girlfriends who were out at a locals night thing tonight. Wouldn't you know it, one of them texted me to say the hot men were out in droves. Here in N***? I don't believe it. And yet I feel the sting of jealousy ... Well, I made my bed and now I shall lie in it.

I've been reading a wacky book lately--I almost hate to admit it. But I am safely anonymous to most of you, so what the heck. I've been reading The Art of Seduction. Listen up: this book will make your skin crawl. (And if not, you're probably a calculating soul already.) And yet ... it's rather useful.

Now, do I want to hone in on a target and reel him in? No. Well, yes. Sort of. Do I want to be evil and manipulative about it? Definitely not. However, this book reminds me about human nature and gives valuable pointers on creating interest. If only the author didn't use words like "victim" and "alluring" so damn much.

You know, it occurs to me that seduction happens when it should. For example: there's a contractor I work with, and I know there is mutual attraction between us. (That he's a good three inches shorter than me is a troubling detail that somehow doesn't get in the way of attraction.) So far there's just been friendly/professional banter (and at least one interesting faux pas), but today I, knowing he likes beer, recommended a nearby restaurant that has an excellent selection of Belgian brews. Now, if he's brave enough--if my heels don't scare him off--he'll pick up on that suggestion and invite me out for a drink sometime soon. I wasn't calculating when I made my recommendation, but it occurred to me later that I was following the principles in that seduction book. Well, not event that, I was flirting--slyly, simply.

(Yes, I am in my 30s. Yes, I have had a fair amount of dates, lovers, boyfriends, etc. And, yes, I am shy. Screw it.)

Anyway, it remains: I need to get out. Hold me to it, 'k?

Second Date Soon!

I would rename Guy #1 with something more clever, but "Guy #1" is an auspicious title. What are the chances that I'd meet someone with whom I clicked so well on the first date? And not just any first date but the first Match date? Crazy.

We've been emailing every day and he called me the other night. There's been a lot of flirtation and just all around good stuff. Of course, per usual, I am starting to get a little worried: what if we're building up expectations of one another? What if the next time we see each other we're all, "Oh, never mind." It could happen.

I don't think it will. I think we'll get a good second date out of this on Sunday, for sure, and I know we're both hoping for more.

There are, of course, some really interesting details I wish I could share with you, but I don't want to be googled and found. Alas.

Guy #2 finally emailed me today. Busy week, he said and he asked about my schedule, which happens to be absolutely full for the next two weeks, thanks to Guy #1 and a BIG Work Thing. I'll email him back and suggest that we look two weeks out. I like him fine; I just can't picture myself with him. And it could be that he was nervous on the date or uninterested deep down or who knows?

Anyway, my fingers are crossed for Guy #1.

Someone Interesting

Wouldn't you know it, I did meet someone interesting yesterday. Of course, meeting someone interesting and having it stick are two very different things.

This Someone Interesting (SI) was one of several guys who were in genuine lederhosen. I can see you're surprised by that. You wouldn't think I would be attracted to a guy in lederhosen, would you. Well, SI also had a sparkling sense of humor and took an obvious shine to me. He had me laughing so hard I couldn't speak.

He wandered away (I think a bratwurst on the grill was calling his name) and I really didn't think anything more of him until one of his friends said, "SI is sure going to be bummed when you leave."

"Really? It looks like he's having a good time." I gestured to SI, who was chatting with a toothy brunette. His friend didn't have much of a response and said only, "I don't know who that is."

Well, awhile later I was ready to head out. I bid my adieus here and there and passed SI on my way out. He was indeed disappointed to see me leaving (never mind that the brunette was beaming there at his elbow) and when he hugged me he said, "Ruby, Ruby" and then laughed nervously and said he was stuttering. (Oh, those many steins of good German beer!)

Later my friend asked me if he'd gotten my number. I was surprised at this and said, "Uh, no ...?" (I suspect that SI must've said something about me when I wasn't around. Everyone seemed so confident in his interest!) I told her that I really didn't think he was all that interested. After all, he'd been talking to that toothy brunette for hours! She shrugged, "That's just where he ended up."

Isn't it funny how that is? Well, I'm here to say (to both men and women) that if someone really sparks your interest, be sure you don't end up with someone else. For all I know, SI may have been most interested in the brunette, but my feminine instinct tells me that she'd just made herself convenient and he'd hoped to circle back. Little did he know how soon the time would run out.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. SI lives in Southern California.

But as my friend and I were driving back to the Napa Valley I mused that I'd really like to live in San Francisco one day. And, in the meantime, perhaps dive into the social scene. The city is an hour away from where I live, so it isn't terribly close (or terribly far). Who knows?