What Match Hath Wrought

I'd forgotten Match can be so overwhelming. I'm emailing three guys at the moment (ignoring others), and while I guess that doesn't seem like a lot, three is really my max. I don't know yet if any of these will turn into dates, all of them seem especially smart--which I like. So far I am liking my somewhat nerdy headline--it seems to attract literary types.

One guy, though, is going to have to be cut loose. Mark (not his name) writes freakin' long emails. His first email was short and funny but subsequent emails have been downright missives, and I just can't handle it. Men (ladies too!), keep your emails brief! Assume that the women (men) you are writing have scads (or even just five) other emails to read and either delete or respond to. The briefer you are, the more attractive you will be--because it'll be SO easy to write back to you!.

Mark also has another black mark against him: he's separated.

Now, I wasn't going to write him off immediately because of that technicality. Remember, his first email was a charmer. Instead, I thought I'd ask him about it. Sure enough, his wife is out of the house (not sure the exact details--not my business at this point) and they're heading towards divorce. He said he'd been through the range of emotions and felt relatively whole. Fair enough.

I asked him that before the weekend. Last night (and despite his long-ass emails) I thought I'd better ask him how long they've been separated. Guess what? A few months. (He didn't number the months, but I guess it could be anywhere from 3 - 12.) Uh, no.

See, I've dated guys 12 months out of the divorce shoot--12 months after the ink dried on divorce papers--and that was no joy. Essentially, the recently divorced (in my experience) aren't looking for another full-blown relationship (full of ups and downs)--they need something to heal the heart, a little easy lovin'. Which I understand, and I want to say, "A shame you didn't meet me five years ago."

Anyway, I'll have to bid Mark farewell. Not sure how, exactly--I suppose I'll just tell him the gentle truth. On the bright side, that will open a new spot in my "max of three" email queue.