Brief Crush

Work has me snowed under, so I have hardly given matters of the heart a thought.

For a period of 24 hours, I had a crush on a local guy--one who is married and therefore unattainable. If you're horrified by my crush on a married man, know that these sorts of crushes happen all the time to many people who would never, ever dream of acting on such a crush. (Heck, I have a hard enough time acting on crushes involving available men!) Anyway, the crush blossomed and fizzled, lovely while it existed. I can't quite do the Unattainable Crush like I could in grade school.

I drove by Bill's house (he lives on a main road) and noticed a car in his driveway. I suspect he had an overnight guest, which is all fine and dandy, since I don't love him and threw him back into the ocean to seek out a better partner. But I can't help but feel a little "Oh, shoot ..." about it. Or I felt that way for about two hours.

Today I wondered why I went out with Bill at all--why I couldn't have just said, "No, my heart is broken and I can't be in a relationship right now." Oh well. It's done, and I tried to love him for 9 months.

I'm off to meet a friend for a glass of wine. It's gorgeous here in the Napa Valley--leaves on the trees and vineyards are beginning to turn and the air is boozy with harvest smells. This is a great place.

(Oh interesting. Bill just texted me, hoping I was still in his neighborhood. Well, well ...)