The Man Corral

This Four Man Plan (4MP) is working perfectly. Right now I have five men (count 'em) in rotation. This is definitely a first for me--and it's purely for lack of trying earlier.

Some key points:
- None of these men have swept me off my feet
- I've made it clear to three of them that I'm seeing other men (TallGuy and Sailor being the exceptions); interesting that the ones who know I'm dating others are the most attentive!
- There is no stress here whatsoever - a surprise to me, who always thought that dating multiples would be stressful. Not so.

You may be wondering why I'm seeing these men if I'm not crazy about them. My thought is, why not? 4MP is a bootcamp for those of us who suck at dating--and I'll admit it: I suck at dating. I have broken hearts and have had my heart broken for years, pouring myself (hopes, dreams) into a single man who, if I'm honest with myself, I really just wanted to make out with (or sleep with). Far better to get it on than to imagine I'm in love--and imagine that he's a person entirely different than he is.

Dating these five guys (and I'm seeking more candidates--am I crazy?) is a great way to observe the male creature. It's a great way to get in touch with myself and to understand (learn) what I need in a relationship. Plus, these men (for the most part) are really stepping up to the plate. I've never been romanced before! (Could it have been that I set the threshold for sex far too low?) I cannot recommend 4MP enough.

So here's who I've got:

TallGuy - Hunky, but not in the game--he canceled our second date and hasn't rescheduled. He's off the graph in a couple of days, if I don't hear from him. (And, yes, I did pursue a second date with him--but according to The Plan, it's not for me to bug him any more. And actually, I don't mind--plenty of other men to do. I mean see. ;) ) I didn't let him know I'm seeing other men on the first date--a mistake, I think, and one that I have not repeated on dates with other men.

Mr. No-Car Bartender - I wish this guy would disappear! But fortunately, he has gone back to his evening bar tending job and I'm going out of town for a bit. I'll see him in two weeks, at the soonest.

Sailor - Our first date is August 1, and in the meantime, great emails and texts flit back and forth. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much about this one, because as we all know, great email does not equal great chemistry in person.

Heli - We had our first date on Tuesday. I could tell by his face that he was surprised I'm so tall (didn't he read my very brief profile?). I thought we were just meeting for a drink, but he earned major points by making dinner reservations. Love it when a man takes initiative! (so rare, in my world) We have a second date this afternoon--and again he took initiative in choosing the restaurant and making reservations.

Realtor - I met Realtor on Wednesday. Yes, two first dates in a row. I don't recommend it. He drove all the way in from Oakland, too--very nice, but I don't like that it means we have to invest a chunk of time each time we see each other. Dating local is great because you can just pop out for a drink--given an hour's drive, you feel like you have to invest more time. Anyway, Realtor is smart, funny, masculine. Where I'm the reserved Northern Euro type (thanks to my upbringing, more than my actual heritage), he's boisterous and bigger than life. I'm not sure I could deal with that over the long haul. BUT, what I loved was that he was SO appreciative of my looks. "If I'd known you were so fine, I'd have driven up on Monday!"

Heli and Realtor are big on calling, and I'm not so much a phone person, though I realize it's important. Heli also texts WAY too much. Every day? We've just gone out once, buddy. I half wish I hadn't made plans with him this afternoon, but he's headed out of town soon (as am I), and the second date is more important than the first one, I believe. First dates are almost always a bundle of nerves and people are hardly ever representative of who they are.

Anyway, I'm having fun. I'm keeping an eye out for love, of course, but right now it's more about just meeting guys and appreciating them as they are with no expectations. Not a bad way to go.

Second Date Soon!

I would rename Guy #1 with something more clever, but "Guy #1" is an auspicious title. What are the chances that I'd meet someone with whom I clicked so well on the first date? And not just any first date but the first Match date? Crazy.

We've been emailing every day and he called me the other night. There's been a lot of flirtation and just all around good stuff. Of course, per usual, I am starting to get a little worried: what if we're building up expectations of one another? What if the next time we see each other we're all, "Oh, never mind." It could happen.

I don't think it will. I think we'll get a good second date out of this on Sunday, for sure, and I know we're both hoping for more.

There are, of course, some really interesting details I wish I could share with you, but I don't want to be googled and found. Alas.

Guy #2 finally emailed me today. Busy week, he said and he asked about my schedule, which happens to be absolutely full for the next two weeks, thanks to Guy #1 and a BIG Work Thing. I'll email him back and suggest that we look two weeks out. I like him fine; I just can't picture myself with him. And it could be that he was nervous on the date or uninterested deep down or who knows?

Anyway, my fingers are crossed for Guy #1.

Ryan Resurfaces!

I forgot to mention that Ryan called on Wednesday. Yes, Ryan, whom I hadn't heard from in weeks! (Not that I was shaken up about it.) I was really surprised when I saw the call coming through and sent it to voicemail.

I didn't get around to returning his call until Thursday. Why return it, you ask? I have a future job opportunity with a relative of his and I think it's in my best interest if I stay friendly--and that's really where I want to move this: to friend territory. We may already be there, but Ryan's message made it clear that he wanted to go out on a second date.

If I were interested in him, I would be so irritated! But I'm not, so it doesn't matter. We're planning on going to a wine release party next weekend. It'll be fun--something to blog about. Maybe I'll wear heels .... ;)