Ask a Girl Out!

I'll call him Chip. (This is the team sport guy, mentioned in the previous post.) Chip because he has a clear chip on his shoulder when it comes to women. So unattractive!

Chip's specific issue was that women always go for rich guys (says he). We stood out by the [game] court, and Chip launched into a diatribe. "If a woman says to me that she didn't like a guy until the fifth date, then I know: she found out he was loaded," he declared. Um, what about getting to know someone slowly? His whining continued until I said, "You know, Chip, it is what it is. Women want security; men want thin women with big boobs." (he's a boob man, take it from me) He shrugged and grunted assent, which I take to mean he realized I had a point. (I didn't get the chance to say that security meant different things to different women, and I should have.) It seems like we women are getting the brunt of the "don't be negative" advice, so it is good to know the gate swings both ways.

Our hanging out wasn't all whining and negativity--thank goodness. He was marginally flirty, which was fun but confusing. Partly because the guy is so weird in giving signals (insecurity perhaps?) and partly because ... I didn't think I was into it. (Which could also explain his weirdness.)

Before, Chip had hinted strongly that we have a "thing" and he promised he wouldn't tell our mutual friend. Yeah, I didn't mention that, did I? He was so vague, though, that I wasn't sure--especially when there wasn't any followup.

If there's one thing I know, it's that I have no interest in a fling with Chip--and no interest in a relationship, either. Friendship, I'd like that--he just keeps throwing this weirdness into the whole thing.

We hugged goodnight at the game, and Chip's buddy gave him an approving head nod, which I wasn't supposed to see. Later, Chip texted me. Among other things, he said I looked amazing. (A shock, since I had been out sweating in the vineyards all day, helping with a video shoot.) Saturday I got a text from him, asking me what I was up to. I didn't see the text for a couple of hours, and when I did I just ... Ugh. (I finally replied that I was working on a writing project--honest-to-God truth.)

OK: If Chip were some amazing, happy, positive guy, I would have suggested we get together--which would have probably been the wrong move. Why? Because I've fallen into the undefined territory too often.

Men of N____: Why can't you ask a girl out on a date? It isn't a marriage proposal and it makes us feel legitimate. There's friends who hang out and then fall in love, and then there's that hanging out thing where there's flirtation and whatnot and before you know it, you have a new f*ck buddy when that wasn't what you were looking for.

I'm rambling. Suffice it to say, no go with the Chipster. Not unless he changes who he fundamentally is and asks me out on a date, for chrissakes. (a hike, a picnic, a drink--doesn't have to be fancy!)

Now, my coworker? Him, I'd gladly engage in a fling. (I won't. I know--pens, company ink, etc.)