The Date

It was a fabulous first date. A/S and I hit it off really well, and while it's too early to say if this will truly go anywhere, I think there will be, at least, a second date.

Unless we took things too far what with the makeout sessions. Oops. And he lives just under an hour away, and one thing led to another and I spent the night. (No sex, though.)

(Loved, by the way, that he made a decisive first move and kissed me. Oh the pain of being on dates where you KNOW the guy wants to kiss you but just sits or stands there fidgeting.)

I am slightly agitated that I stayed (having read all the sage advice out there) but I also feel shruggy about it. I like A/S but am not emotionally invested--who could be at this point? We may have squashed any mystery or intrigue by all the time (ahem) spent together.

Well, time will tell. I'm off to meet a friend for lunch in downtown N____. It's a hot day here and finally feels like the summer we'd been waiting for, well, all summer.

Wonders Never Cease

There I am, ready to write an update (there's news!) when I get a comment from LV, asking about the very subject of my update: ATM/sushi guy. She's psychic, that LV!

I hadn't heard from A/S since the sushi (and D's subsequent "claim"). I think he liked a photo of mine on Facebook (I looked quite fetching--it was taken a couple of years ago), but otherwise ... hush.

And then he messaged me on FB Tuesday inviting me to A Cool Thing and then dinner. Dinner! A proper freakin' date! The big day is Saturday, and I am scrambling for something to wear--I'm such a girl.

So, yes, finally a little action in N___ (though he doesn't live in this tiny town--of course! a positive, actually). Things are looking up. The confidence is boosted. I feel younger, thinner, smarter, sexier. And all because of a date.

Pathetic? Nah. Not at my age, in this weird wine world.

Even better: I have no expectations.

By the way, some of you might wonder how D's taking this. Not to worry: she did meet a man back east and is heart-thumpingly twitterpated. He's visiting soon. I told her about A/S tonight and said I hoped it wouldn't be weird. She appeared enthusiastic and the only odd thing she said was, "But are you attracted to him?" As if she didn't believe I would be. What tall girl wouldn't be attracted to a tall man with twinkly eyes and dimples? I ask you! (D usually has far different taste in men than I do. The men she finds attractive I find smarmy. Go figure.)

Ask a Girl Out!

I'll call him Chip. (This is the team sport guy, mentioned in the previous post.) Chip because he has a clear chip on his shoulder when it comes to women. So unattractive!

Chip's specific issue was that women always go for rich guys (says he). We stood out by the [game] court, and Chip launched into a diatribe. "If a woman says to me that she didn't like a guy until the fifth date, then I know: she found out he was loaded," he declared. Um, what about getting to know someone slowly? His whining continued until I said, "You know, Chip, it is what it is. Women want security; men want thin women with big boobs." (he's a boob man, take it from me) He shrugged and grunted assent, which I take to mean he realized I had a point. (I didn't get the chance to say that security meant different things to different women, and I should have.) It seems like we women are getting the brunt of the "don't be negative" advice, so it is good to know the gate swings both ways.

Our hanging out wasn't all whining and negativity--thank goodness. He was marginally flirty, which was fun but confusing. Partly because the guy is so weird in giving signals (insecurity perhaps?) and partly because ... I didn't think I was into it. (Which could also explain his weirdness.)

Before, Chip had hinted strongly that we have a "thing" and he promised he wouldn't tell our mutual friend. Yeah, I didn't mention that, did I? He was so vague, though, that I wasn't sure--especially when there wasn't any followup.

If there's one thing I know, it's that I have no interest in a fling with Chip--and no interest in a relationship, either. Friendship, I'd like that--he just keeps throwing this weirdness into the whole thing.

We hugged goodnight at the game, and Chip's buddy gave him an approving head nod, which I wasn't supposed to see. Later, Chip texted me. Among other things, he said I looked amazing. (A shock, since I had been out sweating in the vineyards all day, helping with a video shoot.) Saturday I got a text from him, asking me what I was up to. I didn't see the text for a couple of hours, and when I did I just ... Ugh. (I finally replied that I was working on a writing project--honest-to-God truth.)

OK: If Chip were some amazing, happy, positive guy, I would have suggested we get together--which would have probably been the wrong move. Why? Because I've fallen into the undefined territory too often.

Men of N____: Why can't you ask a girl out on a date? It isn't a marriage proposal and it makes us feel legitimate. There's friends who hang out and then fall in love, and then there's that hanging out thing where there's flirtation and whatnot and before you know it, you have a new f*ck buddy when that wasn't what you were looking for.

I'm rambling. Suffice it to say, no go with the Chipster. Not unless he changes who he fundamentally is and asks me out on a date, for chrissakes. (a hike, a picnic, a drink--doesn't have to be fancy!)

Now, my coworker? Him, I'd gladly engage in a fling. (I won't. I know--pens, company ink, etc.)

Slim Pickings

There's the UPS guy, he's cute--also possibly gay.

There's my coworker who just left his wife. So not conventionally hot, but hot just the same. I love that. (But, yes, bad idea--I know. Don't worry, I'm all bark and no bite. Plus I can hardly talk to him, he makes me so nervous.)

There's this guy, who I am meeting up valley for a team sport (must be ambiguous about which, since it's so searchable) tomorrow night. Yeah, I haven't seen him since then, though we've texted a few times. Once he asked me if I was going to some party. I wrote back that I hadn't thought about it and coyly asked if he was making a suggestion. He then replied that he wasn't going after all. Wha?! I hope his palm hit his forehead after he pushed "send." Needless to say, after that I didn't think twice about him. Until last week, when he emailed me to say (cleverly) that he wasn't sure if he should be offended that I never came out to any of his games. What the hell, right?

And then there's the 27-year-old who just invited me to hang out with him and his single roommate. The 27yo made sure to mention his girlfriend, just in case I was mistaken about his intentions. I did a quick search online and discovered that his friend is 26. Egads. For some reason I didn't tell the 27yo that I am in my mid-30s. Maybe I am amused. Maybe I'm flattered. Maybe I'm touched that I was invited. (Hey, I'm not an easy person to get to know, never mind invite anywhere.) But don't get me wrong: I expect immature jokes, beer, herb and whatever it is that guys in their mid-20s are into these days. It'll be so not my thing. (Except for the beer.)

(Important note: I don't mean to say that men in their mid to late 20s are immature. I just have a feeling these two are.)

So, yes, that's the current rundown. It's painful, really.