Guy will be here in a bit to pick up items. It'll be awkward. Did I tell you that he bought a very expensive bottle of wine this week and wanted us to have a postmortem today along with the vino? I refused. He was always inappropriately extravagant with his gifts (he makes only a touch more than I do and has financial problems) and this smacked of manipulation, though I don't think he was conscious of that.
He very much wants us to be friends, and while that's in the realm of possibility I've had to patiently explain that friendship can't happen right away. He needs to move on, and so do I. Right now, I think he's a bit obsessed.
Future dating plans? None. I'm in the midst of a job change (you know how stressful that is) and really just want to lay low for awhile. Ideally, I'll meet a man in real life right here in this valley. Wouldn't that be wild?
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Update: Guy just left. He was so sweet and all of the things that made me like him in the first place shone through. I feel nauseated and wonder if I've made the wrong decision. This is an understandable emotional response, I suppose. My brain knows I just need to get a grip and step back, and if I need to reassess, then I should do that in a few months.
I know that feeling: I felt the same way about Plan C in February 09, having broken up with him in August 08. When I needed to call him and talk to someone, He Was There, very sweet, even left a meeting to talk to me.
ReplyDeleteBUT -- I was right in August 08, and I never went back on that decision. Just because he was very sweet when it was All Over doesn't mean that all the negative stuff that made me break up w. him originally was no longer there: it was there.
It took from August 08 to May 09 for me to meet the Final right person, Funny Guy, and I was glad I had never seriously reconsidered Plan C.
Well, that may or may not be relevant to your situation, but there 'tis anyway.
Good luck. I think you'll be okay.
Be strong. You did the right thing and your brain knows that. Sometimes the heart takes longer to see these things.
ReplyDeleteYes -- what they said. And when you're getting those pangs of missing him (totally understandable, by the way), re-read what you wrote in the past about why you were breaking up. Sometimes we need these reminders.
ReplyDeletere: the wine -- oy, last year when Camper and I were breaking up, he wanted to get together to talk about it. He suggested getting together "for a bottle of wine -- or three -- to see what happens". I said it wasn't a good idea.
Good luck with the new job!