Do the Opposite

Yesterday I thought I should try something new: doing the opposite of what I would normally do (especially in social situations), a la George Costanza. I haven't actually put it into practice yet, but I'm on the verge.

What does this exactly mean? It means I'll speak up when I'd normally remain silent. It means I'll smile and maintain eye contact for a second longer than I usually would. It means I'll go to bars at nice restaurants by myself, because let's face it: it's much harder for a nice, sober guy to approach you when you're out with your girl friends.

Bill and TOTGA are perfect examples of the good things that can happen when I break out of my usual MO. With Bill, I walked up to him and said, "You're Bill, aren't you?" He stuck by me the whole night. With TOTGA I kept looking at him across the room all night long and then finally wandered over to him (such a brazen move! I was buzzed on sparkling wine) and said hello. I know, it doesn't sound difficult, but if you're on the shy side and if the man in question is particularly swoon-worthy (as these guys were), small moves seem gigantic.

Right now the "Opposite Move" I'm thinking about doing is telling Bill that I miss him. (Previously contemplated here.) It goes completely against my nature. I worry that it'll be unfair: he had a terrible time getting over me. Obviously, I shouldn't tell him that I miss him unless I'm willing to follow up with something--such as the possibility of getting back together. I'm open to that, actually. But what if the attempt fails? Let's say he responds positively. What if we give it a go and I realize that I was right the first time around. And of course there's the possibility that he won't respond positively ...

This is silly. Maybe it's worth it to just tell him that, for what it's worth, I have missed him. He was my best friend, and I know I (overwhelmed with sadness over TOTGA) focused on all of Bill's faults while ignoring the fact that I am flawed, too. He treated me well. We had a lot of common interests and a similar upbringing. I liked him (but was too shattered over TOTGA to fall in love). Worth revisiting?