DDoubt

(Yes, with double DDs)

I had a significant freakout last week.

A freakout to the extent that I clammed up, shut down, Did Not Communicate. So juvenile!

And Guy #1 behaved like an adult despite my behavior. He backed off and let me have my space and demonstrated heaps of dignity doing it. Wow.

I know, I'm leaving out the juicy details. Let's just say that we went to a wedding together and though I can't be certain, I think that was the cause of my panic. (Hi. Am I a commitmentphobe?) The wedding followed a romantic stay at a nearby hotel--right at our two-month anniversary. (And Guy is the sensitive, sweet, in-love type who marks anniversaries--so sweet!) I think it was just too much.

Much to my relief, five days apart set me to rights again. All last week I was sure we were headed for a breakup. I was sure I couldn't do this, that he wasn't the guy for me. And then Friday I wanted him.

Fickle and disgusting, sure, but I am relieved. I thought I'd have to look for a new therapist and start confessing my sins against men on a comfy couch again. (Not that that would be the worst thing in the world.)

Guy is just lovely. Where did those sharp, intense doubts come from? And will they come again? I sure hope not.