We had a fine date: popular restaurant packed with people (and a great live band), delicious food and wine. Ryan (not his true name) and I talked a lot and even danced a bit. I'd decided on flats after I didn't accept his offer to pick me up as a way to make it up to him. (I'm so used to being independent and self-sufficient I forget to allow men to do nice things for me, and so I need to practice, no matter how small the gesture.)
I also let him pay for me, which is always hard for me to do. I of course thanked him several times.
We leaned in close to talk, partially so we could make ourselves heard but also because it's nice to be close. I put my hand on his shoulder several times, and he pulled me in close, too. But, and you'll be shocked, we didn't kiss at the end of the date. It wasn't because I didn't find him attractive--I do. I'm just not ready to go darting down that road yet. Prude? Maybe. Even men I find terribly, heart-breakingly attractive I don't kiss right off the bat. Why? I don't know. It could be viewed as game-playing but for me it's simply a matter of Figuring Things Out.
I warm up slowly. It's one of my "special features." And it's true that some don't have the patience for it--I can't blame them. I just can't bring myself to kiss a guy when I'm not sure where I want things to go. (And, sometimes, even when I'm pretty sure where I want things to go.) Perhaps I need to seek therapy on this point--or perhaps I will just keep on keeping on. No great harm has come from this M.O. yet.
Anyway, I enjoyed Ryan and I would go out with him again. I think we're a little uneven in some areas (accomplishments, experiences, etc.), though, and those could be deal-breakers for me.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Cinderella's Slippers Have Heels
I found cute shoes, but they're heels, and even in bare feet I'm already taller than my date. I consulted a friend about this, and she assured me that as long as I am okay with it, no worries.
I am okay with it, of course. I'm taller than most people anyway. But is it rude to flaunt one's height on a first date? On the other hand, I know shorter men who love tall women--and love them more in heels. Maybe he's one of these. Maybe he'll be drawn to my confidence, or something.
Whatever, we'll be sitting down for most of the evening anyway.
By the way, it's brutally hot in the Napa Valley this afternoon. After a mild summer, this comes as somewhat of a shock.
I am okay with it, of course. I'm taller than most people anyway. But is it rude to flaunt one's height on a first date? On the other hand, I know shorter men who love tall women--and love them more in heels. Maybe he's one of these. Maybe he'll be drawn to my confidence, or something.
Whatever, we'll be sitting down for most of the evening anyway.
By the way, it's brutally hot in the Napa Valley this afternoon. After a mild summer, this comes as somewhat of a shock.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Slippers for Cinderella
I feel a little silly for having launched into a tirade about the lack of men in the Napa Valley when such a short time later, one of these supposedly rare men has asked me out on a date.
Yes, that's right, I do have a date. One where the guy actually called me up and asked me out--offered to pick me up, even!
Gentlemen, take note: small gestures are lovely. Traditional dating can set a girl's heart to fluttering.
It's true! And this is one of the reasons I've been dating men 10 years or so older than me: They know how to ask a woman out. It isn't this, "Hey, so, uh, wanna hang out some time?" business. So unattractive!
So I have a date, and I know what I'll wear--except for my shoes. My shoe collection (such as it is) needs revitalizing. Will I be able to find something by tomorrow evening? If you don't feel the suspense, I sure do!
Yes, that's right, I do have a date. One where the guy actually called me up and asked me out--offered to pick me up, even!
Gentlemen, take note: small gestures are lovely. Traditional dating can set a girl's heart to fluttering.
It's true! And this is one of the reasons I've been dating men 10 years or so older than me: They know how to ask a woman out. It isn't this, "Hey, so, uh, wanna hang out some time?" business. So unattractive!
So I have a date, and I know what I'll wear--except for my shoes. My shoe collection (such as it is) needs revitalizing. Will I be able to find something by tomorrow evening? If you don't feel the suspense, I sure do!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
What to my wondering eyes should appear ...
A man on the horizon!
I'm afraid I sound glib--or worse, desperate. I don't think I'm either, but you're free to make your own judgments.
I fell in love once, you know, here in this very small valley (wonder of wonders) and for one reason or a dozen, it just didn't stick. I see him from distances (such a small place this is) and each time the heart clinches. It would be so healthy to move on, which is why I am excited about this possible guy. He seems smart and interesting, plus he has the requisite twinkle in his eye ...
I'm afraid I sound glib--or worse, desperate. I don't think I'm either, but you're free to make your own judgments.
I fell in love once, you know, here in this very small valley (wonder of wonders) and for one reason or a dozen, it just didn't stick. I see him from distances (such a small place this is) and each time the heart clinches. It would be so healthy to move on, which is why I am excited about this possible guy. He seems smart and interesting, plus he has the requisite twinkle in his eye ...
Monday, August 24, 2009
Welcome to the Napa Valley Fishbowl
It's a terribly small place.
You don't realize this when you first arrive, all starry-eyed with the views of vineyard upon vineyard and promises of fabulous food and wine. But, yes, the Napa Valley isn't an ocean wherein to cast baited hooks for men--it's a fishbowl. And woe be unto she who commits the grave error of "catch and release" .... Which I have done. Several times. (Woe.)
The statistics are stacked against us, honey. The US Census says there's about 133,433 persons in Napa County. I don't know how many are single, but you'll agree: it seems that all but 3,000 are married (or in exclusive relationships, or are children or retired or skanky)--and at least 2,500 of those singles are attractive, charming women scampering after the same 500 or so attractive, charming men. (And frankly, it doesn't seem like there are 500 attractive men gallivanting about the valley, but I'm trying to be generous here.)
This is how the odds are stacked; this is what I'm up against.
(Well, there are other factors, too ...)
You don't realize this when you first arrive, all starry-eyed with the views of vineyard upon vineyard and promises of fabulous food and wine. But, yes, the Napa Valley isn't an ocean wherein to cast baited hooks for men--it's a fishbowl. And woe be unto she who commits the grave error of "catch and release" .... Which I have done. Several times. (Woe.)
The statistics are stacked against us, honey. The US Census says there's about 133,433 persons in Napa County. I don't know how many are single, but you'll agree: it seems that all but 3,000 are married (or in exclusive relationships, or are children or retired or skanky)--and at least 2,500 of those singles are attractive, charming women scampering after the same 500 or so attractive, charming men. (And frankly, it doesn't seem like there are 500 attractive men gallivanting about the valley, but I'm trying to be generous here.)
This is how the odds are stacked; this is what I'm up against.
(Well, there are other factors, too ...)
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