Resolution

The ever wise Mimi commented on my last post that this situation seemed like the kind to drive one crazy.

Sure enough: Friday I felt myself slipping into Crazy Mode. Analyzing and worrying and just making myself miserable. It was practically an out-of-body experience: I could see myself festering and knew this was Bad and that I had to stop.

For one thing, I knew I was obsessing about the unknown rather than genuine feelings for Mac. Not healthy. (But at least I'm able to recognize it now--the first step in getting a grip.) Not healthy especially since my type (if we're talking types, as in the last post) tends to be Impossible Men--the ones that are just out of reach. Mac rolls right into this typecast, of course, so ... caution serves me well.

All this I knew, but Friday I still felt bad. I came home from work and wallowed a bit (to my shame) and then put on a movie. Halfway through I checked my phone, which was charging in the other room: a call and text from Mac!

Now, I'd told myself that I wasn't going to be at Mac's beck and call and had decided that if I got a last-minute invite I wouldn't accept. However, his message was that he was meeting his best friend (a woman) and did I want to join them? Harmless then. Besides, I hadn't eaten.

His best friend wasn't there when I arrived, so we had a good, long chat. Much joking, flirtation, and etc. And then he brought up Us, for which I was (and am) so grateful. He said I should know that he tells his best friend everything and that she's worried about our relationship--that she thinks Mac should take it easy for awhile, since I'm friends with his ex. "But I told her that I like you, and I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm not going to let that [the smallness of the valley/my connection with the ex] stop me from hanging out with you, you know?" I think he actually said it better than that, but that was the gist.

I was so relieved to hear where things stand. Honestly, it's what I wanted to hear. If he'd made a move, it would have freaked me out.

One thing I wonder is how he knows I like him--or, at least, I wonder how he can be so brave as to say (twice now) that he really likes me without me ever saying something to the same effect? I, in my stunted communicativeness, have not been able to say it quite so plainly. But obviously he assumes this is the case. Rightly so, but it kind of amazes me.

Well, I've got the crazy back down to a simmer. Steady as she goes.

PS: Heard from A/S yesterday. Granted, he was trying to get in at one of the wineries I work for, but kind of strange to hear from him after months and months! He also invited me "and my friends" to join them for dinner. I said it wasn't a good night (all my friends had other plans, for one thing), and spent a cozy night in, watching movies.