So where am I now on this journey towards love? I admit my last post was a story about drama that occurred nearly a month before. Rest assured, my month of September wasn't boring: Android and Heli both went to bat, stating their clear intentions. We went on amazing dates. I received beautiful flowers. I honestly thought either of these guys could be my guy, but I hesitated: Android was so insecure and Heli's personality bored me. (Do I sound as horrible as I think I do?) In the end, I had to let them both slip back into the sea.
This was difficult as I truly liked both of them--but in liking them, I realized I had more of a friendly feeling than a "loverly" feeling. I had to be fair to all involved. (NorCal ladies, I know two great guys, if you need recommendations--though Android needs a little time, I think.)
Tangentially, I have to say it's incredible to me how men--not just women!--romanticize love. Android is a good example of this--perhaps because he had been so hurt by his ex-wife. He loves chick-flicks (in addition to his dude movies) and the idea of this all-incompassing, "rescue-y" type love. Barf.
So where do I go from here? I've totally revamped my online profile (which went live yesterday). Instead of having a short, light and fluffy profile (which encouraged the "hey baby" type guys), I've decided to speak to my audience. Almost as soon as the profile was live, I received two thoughtful messages in my inbox--this after weeks of radio silence (but then, I wasn't giving my profile any love). I'm back in the game.
This time, I'm setting a higher bar for my dates. Don't get me wrong, I learned plenty in my last go-around: I practiced setting boundaries and speaking honestly and kindly. I allowed men to be men--opening doors, buying me gifts, paying for dates--and practiced my own femininity--graciously receiving. I didn't meet my "true love," but it was awesome.
So it appears I have two quarter men: Bill Draper and Guy (more clever name to be determined).
No expectations, kids.
