There are rough spots. Our big rough spot is his financial position. I want to help him without being a crutch. I want him to be happy. I don't want to support two people on my salary. He needs [equipment for his business] and a new phone (not to mention the rent that's due and new clothing), but even if I could afford to get him those things, I don't think we're at the place in our relationship where I should get them.
I love him, I do. The thought of us not working out makes my heart hurt. But we're not even five months in, and I am not rolling in cash. I think me playing fairy god mother (with cash I don't have) is unwise. And it's hard for me not to feel a little ... curmudgeonly about this. I found a decent job with a decent wage. Why can't he?
I hope to heaven this rough spot can be worked out because I don't want to be resentful or frustrated. I paid for this vacation of ours, and I'm OK with it. We had a fantastic time and I wouldn't take a penny of it back.
I just wish we were on equal footing, financially.
Just wanted to say I'm glad you're still posting through it all, and glad you sound happy. I agree, you shouldn't underwrite him, not now, not ever in my opinion. I don't know the particulars, but it sounds like he needs to find his own grounding. And I'm curious (pruriently) about the imbalance in libidos. Do tell?
ReplyDeleteI can relate 100% to this:
ReplyDelete"And it's hard for me not to feel a little ... curmudgeonly about this. I found a decent job with a decent wage. Why can't he?"
That's been my experience quite frequently with guys here in NY. Unfortunately, the economy is hurting. I know a LOT of people who are having financial trouble, men AND women. It sucks, but I suppose we just need to consider ourselves lucky to not be in that position...?
I just realized that you wrote this over a month ago... hope things have improved since then!